cizzifreak

jag trodde det höll på att bli bra,jag borde va ute och gå mer men jag tycker det känns värre, ingen har som sagt fattat hur on jag har och hur jävla bra jag är på att stå ut.
det snurrar runt massor med tankar hela tiden ...
I can see non but failurein me, huntted like a naked animal skinny and alone in the dark..
An animal that is to slow and cant run away, takes the beating, moans in misery
All memories building up on me hard to get them all, much is forgotten.
I remember how I use to be, no regognizon. not to what I use to look like, is sweaps with a quiet whisper thru the wind on eternal pain.
All that I represented, what I dont like and and my reactions has resulted into me beliveing it all has an actual meaning but it makes no sense.
no sense at all .....
lack of inspiration is my first sign,lack of stregnth is number two,lack of confidece is number three
I ran away from fysiality and became one with non existent form.
complaining I hate it my ego fells lager than life, might not be to my favor ...
I dont complain I cant relate to it,competitive,driven without loss of qualites , I miss me...
All I ever wanted to be is that "me" who can do what I fell like doing,that is not in pain, sees all the possibilies out there.
now my eyes are darkend...
I cant change anything but what is nothing I can do to growth or driv to death, away with all the rage within.
How is it that Iam so angry with?

jag ska berätta nu för dom, här hemma.. dom måste nog förstå hur det var annars kommer dom inte kunna hjälpa mig när jag sträcker ut handen och ber om det.